Real Scary Times

I caught my mum talking to herself today. I asked her who she was talking to and she told me my daughter. The little legs was out on the front balcony with me and her dad as he was picking her up for the day… She’s been saying some random things that don’t really make sense to me for a few days now but this is concerning. It’s as if she’s seeing situations that just aren’t there. She’s also started twitching. It used to only happen in her sleep but now she’s slumped to one side in the armchair (a special recliner that the palliative nurses organised for her) and it’s as if she can’t control her muscles. I’m going to keep an eye on what’s happening and then go from there. She seemed as though she was getting better but witnessing what I’m seeing right now does not look good

When your body is just a ticking time bomb

The palliative care nurse came and had a private chat with me (just one of a number of visitors for the day). When they originally gave me the prognosis, I was told my mum probably didn’t have years left. The nurse re-confirmed it for me today that they believe it’s really only a matter of months. Signs being that as she gets more ill, her body won’t want to eat or drink and the swallow reflex will disappear meaning she’ll not be able to take her medication properly. I make all her tea, drinks, snacks & meals and more often than not, they are still there hours later until I tidy them up. I even went and bought her a McDonald’s in because I know usually she’s guaranteed to eat that. She didn’t.

Real Life – A (ruddy manic!) day in the life of…

I should be sat rolling clay and stamping it with beautiful words & pretty patterns. That’s what a normal, every day kinda day would usually entail for me. Every part of me wants so much to get on with the thing that I love. But I can’t. My days have drastically changed and my booming online business has been reluctantly ‘put on hold’.

Many crafters go through a period of boredom or see their sales decline and shut up shop for a bit but that’s not it. I’ve suddenly gone from hard working business woman & mummy to full time carer.

This is a snippet of yesterday. It’s calmed down a bit since the first few days and the phone isn’t ringing as much now (thank god!):

• Early wake up call to inform me mum’s hospital bed will be delivered tomorrow, time to be confirmed.
• Up to feed & water 4 mouths their breakfast. This includes me, mum, little legs and the dog.
• Dish washing from yesterday (why did I make cupcakes?)
• Change the little one.
• Get everyone dressed before the 1st carer of the day arrives. This doesn’t include the dog.
• Fill & start the washing machine.
• Carer arrives (she’s very lovely indeed) Fetch stuff for the carer to be able to do her thing.
• Pop out for the first time in almost a week to grab bits needed for mum. Toiletries, clothing, many weeks worth of unclaimed pension.
• Lot’s of toddler tantrums later and we’re back. Time to make us all some lunch.
• 2nd carer of the day…
• Tidied up the wardrobe and put away a few winter coats & clothing. Not the umbrellas though… 😀
• Changed the bed. God I hate changing the damn bed!
• Have a little play time with the toddler. Not for long though, I’m still cross with her earlier behaviour.
• Dish washing for the day so far.
• Just remembered the clothes from earlier are still in the machine so just hanging that now.
• Random toddler tantrums.
• Iron the dry clothing making room for the next load.
• Put away ironed clothing.
• Sat looking at the tray of orders who are shouting at me “finish me, FINISH ME!”
• Dinner for 4 but only 2 eats. The dog and the toddler are not much different from each other…
• Random toddler tantrums.
• 3rd carer of the day turns up 2 hours late (should be here no later than 6PM…)
• Jumping in the bath!
• Change & dress little legs for bed.

I was recently told by the little lady’s dad “I can’t understand how me visiting would be a problem”. Well I actually do hope you find this post one day. You selfish jerk.