She’s Gone…

I’ve not written anything for a while because I really have no words right now. On 22nd May I posted concern about my mum talking to herself. Loads happened after that day but the most shocking was that she passed away 3 days later.

As I sit here trying to act grown up and sort everything out, my mind keeps asking could she have been saved? Her last few days were awful and I saw it all. Her very last day was horrific and it’s all I can think about.

I’m trying desperately to get on with things, even crafting to forget but it’s always there.

Real Life – A (ruddy manic!) day in the life of…

I should be sat rolling clay and stamping it with beautiful words & pretty patterns. That’s what a normal, every day kinda day would usually entail for me. Every part of me wants so much to get on with the thing that I love. But I can’t. My days have drastically changed and my booming online business has been reluctantly ‘put on hold’.

Many crafters go through a period of boredom or see their sales decline and shut up shop for a bit but that’s not it. I’ve suddenly gone from hard working business woman & mummy to full time carer.

This is a snippet of yesterday. It’s calmed down a bit since the first few days and the phone isn’t ringing as much now (thank god!):

• Early wake up call to inform me mum’s hospital bed will be delivered tomorrow, time to be confirmed.
• Up to feed & water 4 mouths their breakfast. This includes me, mum, little legs and the dog.
• Dish washing from yesterday (why did I make cupcakes?)
• Change the little one.
• Get everyone dressed before the 1st carer of the day arrives. This doesn’t include the dog.
• Fill & start the washing machine.
• Carer arrives (she’s very lovely indeed) Fetch stuff for the carer to be able to do her thing.
• Pop out for the first time in almost a week to grab bits needed for mum. Toiletries, clothing, many weeks worth of unclaimed pension.
• Lot’s of toddler tantrums later and we’re back. Time to make us all some lunch.
• 2nd carer of the day…
• Tidied up the wardrobe and put away a few winter coats & clothing. Not the umbrellas though… 😀
• Changed the bed. God I hate changing the damn bed!
• Have a little play time with the toddler. Not for long though, I’m still cross with her earlier behaviour.
• Dish washing for the day so far.
• Just remembered the clothes from earlier are still in the machine so just hanging that now.
• Random toddler tantrums.
• Iron the dry clothing making room for the next load.
• Put away ironed clothing.
• Sat looking at the tray of orders who are shouting at me “finish me, FINISH ME!”
• Dinner for 4 but only 2 eats. The dog and the toddler are not much different from each other…
• Random toddler tantrums.
• 3rd carer of the day turns up 2 hours late (should be here no later than 6PM…)
• Jumping in the bath!
• Change & dress little legs for bed.

I was recently told by the little lady’s dad “I can’t understand how me visiting would be a problem”. Well I actually do hope you find this post one day. You selfish jerk.